Assigning NBA New Year's Resolutions

Matthew Roberson | @mroberson22

The dawn of a new year typically brings about a period of introspective self-reflection, basking in the positive and dwelling in the negative of the last 365 days. Many people believe that starting a new cycle around the sun means they should make sweeping changes to their lives. Some decide they’re going to work out more and eat better, only to spend more time talking about that than actually doing it. Others say they’re going to quit smoking or pick up a new hobby, even though everyone and their mother knows that shit ain’t happening.

The easiest resolutions to set – and more importantly stick with – are always the vaguest. “I’m going to make self-improvements,” or “This year I want to focus less on myself and more on others,” are often said by athleisure-clad suburbanites with quotes from The Office in their Instagram bios. While the passage of December 31 into January 1 is largely trivial, it serves as a tentpole of change for a massive group of people too unwilling to spot their own flaws earlier in the year. 

NBA executives, coaches, and players are not immune to this. Season in and season out, teams leave festering wounds unattended for too long, hoping that they’ll heal themselves rather than get infected. Most underlying problems can be fixed by addressing them sooner rather than later. Take that and relate it to your life however you so choose. Me? I’m going to apply the lesson to a handful of NBA situations, assigning New Year’s resolutions to those who need them.

Los Angeles Clippers: trade DeAndre Jordan

Since I wrote about the Clippers as a potential bandwagon team, they've suffered three separate three-game losing streaks and fallen just out of the Western Conference playoff picture. Blake Griffin, Danilo Gallinari, and Patrick Beverley each suffered injuries, with Beverley being declared done for the season. Although a recent five-wins-in-six games surge shone a glimmer of hope on LA, their best move might be to punt the season away and let Jordan escape the Clippers’ treadmill of misfortune. 

Photo courtesy of basket4us/Twitter


Jordan, the Clippers’ longest-tenured player, is under contract for the remainder of this season and possesses a player option for the 2018-19 campaign. Rather than risking the big man opting out, the Clippers’ front office would be wise to test the trade waters before the February 8 deadline. Other teams should be enticed by the idea of Jordan possibly playing a full season for them in ’18-19. If Jordan plays out the season in Clipper blue, then exercises his player option to be schmoozed by the rest of the league in free agency, he’ll likely demand more than the $24 million salary the Clippers owe him. That’s just how the NBA works. If he’s going to leave, he’s going to want more money. 

Dealing the seven-foot aerial artist would signal the definitive end of the Lob City era. While Griffin is locked in for five seasons and $132 million in guaranteed money to be the face of the franchise, Jordan is the most tantalizing trade chip who can land the Clips some young players or draft picks to build toward the future. Of course, after enduring some lean years early in his career, helping revitalize the franchise, and then finding himself caught up in the Donald Sterling scandal and Chris Paul’s trade, it would make sense for Jordan to have some say in his destination. He’s given a huge chunk of his life to the Los Angeles Clippers, which would take a toll on any person. 

Playoff teams like Washington and Milwaukee could use his services, and a hypothetical swap for Jabari Parker is catnip for the subset of NBA fans addicted to making fake trades from their couch. I don’t actually think Milwaukee would make that trade, by the way. The only way it happens is if the Bucks think that Parker’s shaky health could be a long-term ordeal, and that adding DJ could get them to a Conference Finals that entices him to sign a multi-year contract. Both of those seem unlikely.

Sending Jordan away to be part of the rebuilds in Dallas or Phoenix makes some theoretical sense, especially when you consider that Jordan was a couple emojis away from becoming a Maverick three summers ago. A trade to the Cavs for Tristan Thompson and the Brooklyn pick has been speculated about more than Trump's impeachment. It is worth noting that Cleveland has the third-worst defensive rating in the league and allows opponents to score 45.3 points per game in the paint, ranking 21st out of 30 teams. Jordan is an obvious candidate to alleviate those issues.

 The Clippers’ schedule between now and the trade deadline includes two dates with the Warriors, home games against OKC, Houston, Boston, and Minnesota, as well as pivotal matchups with fellow playoff hopefuls Utah, Portland, Denver, and New Orleans. If the team goes something, like, 6-11 over this 17-game stretch before the trade deadline, the chances of Jordan wearing a new uniform for the home stretch increase. As hard as it may be to swallow for Clipper fans, that may be in the best interest of both Jordan and the Clippers organization.

Ben Simmons: consider shooting right-handed

Look, I know I’m not the first one to say this, and I know the odds of him making such a drastic change less than halfway through his rookie year are unlikely, but Ben Simmons should really think about shooting with his right hand. Watch this highlight compilation and notice what hand Simmons primarily finishes with.


It seems very apparent that he prefers to use his right hand on layups and hook shots, when the pace and situation of the game eliminates time to think. But on free throws and three pointers, when handedness becomes a larger part of the brain’s preparation process, he elects to go lefty. The results have been entirely underwhelming. Simmons is making just 54 percent of his foul shots on 4.8 attempts per game, a number that could climb if the struggles continue and teams start hacking.

The Wizards employed this strategy on November 29, when they sent Simmons to the line 29 times. Philadelphia’s prodigal son connected on 15 of them (51.7 percent), but the Sixers still won the game. Still, look for more coaches to test the Australian’s free-throw abilities in 2018, especially if he continues to take them with his southpaw. Three pointers have been such a struggle for Simmons, you’d think he was actually shooting them from Australia. While he never projected as a good, or even average shooter, Simmons has placed doubt in the minds of even his most loyal apologists. Entering the new year, Simmons has yet to make his first NBA three. He’s taken nine and made zero. In a year that’s seen Taj Gibson, Dewayne Dedmon, and even Simmons’ teammate Amir Johnson splash a handful of treys, the 21-year-old Simmons still can’t get into the club.

Luckily, a lack of three-point shooting from its supersized point guard won’t derail Philly’s playoff hopes. Simmons taking and making shots from downtown was never part of the plan anyway. However, the evidence through 35 games details some deeply-rooted mechanical issues. His coaches have remarked that Simmons’ righty shot is more pleasant to look at, and that the ball leaves his hand better when coming from the right side. I predicted before the season that the 76ers would compete for a playoff spot. To do that, Simmons may need to change some things. When it comes to shooting the ball, he may want to take a word of advice from Jerry Seinfeld.

Nikola Mirotic: Get punched in the face before every season

Photo courtesy of thescore NBA/Twitter


Since catching a facial-altering hand from Bobby Portis before the season, the odyssey of Nikola Mirotic has been downright fascinating. Portis’ punch, which carried the strength of a small automobile, was one that Deebo would have been proud of. ESPN reported that Mirotic “dropped to the floor and lay there for several minutes” upon eating the knuckle sandwich that left him with a concussion, fractured face, and a hospital bill.

After finally regaining the concepts of feeling and emotion nine days later, Mirotic was alleged to have given the Bulls an “either him or me” ultimatum like some sort of rom-com character. Chicago called his bluff, and when Portis returned from an eight-game suspension on November 7, he told the media that him and Mirotic had still not spoken. This was playing out like a classic high school beef, but only if you went to a high school where one dude had concrete fists. Here’s the thing though…

*extremely 30 for 30 voice*

What if I told you…

that a broken face…

could be the canvas for an artful redemption?

Chicago Bully: The Story of Nikola Mirotic and Bobby Portis, coming this spring

When the bones in Mirotic’s maxillary area healed and he re-joined the Bulls for a December 8 game in Charlotte, our fallen hero played 14 minutes of the Chicago victory. In the 13 games he’s played since Portis knocked his shit halfway back to Montenegro, Mirotic has averaged 18.3 points and 7.1 rebounds per game while hitting 47 percent of his threes. Small sample size or not, those are major improvements from his career averages of 11.2 points, 5.4 rebounds, and 35.9 percent three-point clip. Chicago won the first seven games that Mirotic played in, somehow besting Cleveland and Boston in a three-day span on the road. Don’t tell Mirotic that the Bulls are supposed to be tanking, and that every win takes away from the chances of landing a superstar prospect. After winning 10 of their last 13 contests, those chances are now roughly the same as Portis landing a right hook that could concuss a 6’10” 238 lb. man, which is to say improbable, but as the infamous blow taught us, not impossible. 

Marcus Smart: stop shooting so much

The Celtics solidifying themselves as a top-five team despite Gordon Hayward’s gruesome leg injury-turned-meme has been one of the best NBA stories of the year. Boston is winning over 70 percent of its games thanks to Brad Stevens’ tacit understanding of the game, Kyrie Irving’s gravitational pull on the basketball, Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown’s instant impacts, and lockdown defense. The underappreciated contributions of Al Horford and Marcus Smart, particularly on defense, have elevated the team to a level many thought was unreachable after Hayward’s lower body catastrophe.

Smart’s 9.5 points and 4.9 assists per night do little to draw the eye of fans who follow basketball via tickers or box scores. Yet, despite owning the worst field goal percentage of anyone taking at least nine shots per game, Smart remains a valuable asset. Boston’s offensive and defensive ratings are both better when he’s on the court. They have a higher assist rate and lower turnover percentage as well. Smart is a very useful player whose highlight reel wouldn’t be very visually pleasing, unless you like players who draw game-clinching fouls. He’s only 23 years old and is already doing a multitude of things to help his team win.

Shooting is absolutely not one of them. In addition to the worst field goal percentage in the league, Smart also has the second-lowest true shooting percentage, better than only Lonzo Ball. He makes just 29.8 percent of his threes, a shot he attempts 4.5 times per game. Among players chucking from deep as much as Smart who have played in at least 15 games, he ranks second-to-last. Two-pointers haven’t been much kinder. Smart launches five per game, and connects on a league-worst 37.2 percent. Yet, against all conventional wisdom, Smart is still taking slightly more shots per game than Tatum. Here’s how Smart’s shooting numbers stack up to Tatum’s, along with their spot in the rankings among the 126 players getting nine shots a night.  
FGA/G
FG%
3PA/G
3P%
2PA/G
2P%
TS%
eFG%
Marcus Smart
9.5
33.7 (126th)
4.5
29.8
5.0
37.2 (126th)
44.9 (125th)
40.7 (126th)
Jayson Tatum
9.3
50.8 (17th)
3.0
47.1
6.2
52.6 (38th)
64.1 (5th)
58.5 (8th)

The three-point numbers are a little difficult because of players like Andre Drummond, Dwight Howard, and Steven Adams who have 0.0 three-point percentages. Just know that Smart is among the worst deep ball shooters in the NBA and Tatum has literally been the best. It’s a bit outlandish to say that Smart should stop shooting threes altogether, because of the inherent efficiency of threes over twos. Still, any way you slice it, Smart is a terrible shooter. It makes no sense at all that he is lining up more shots than the 19-year-old offensive savant he plays with.

The Irving-Smart-Brown-Tatum-Horford group has been Boston’s second-most used lineup, meaning Smart is getting a lot of run with Tatum and continues to siphon shots from him. That should not be a thing in 2018, especially when Boston needs to be firing on all cylinders in possible playoff matchups with Cleveland or Toronto. Perhaps the best thing for Smart to do is assume a Tony Allen-style role. Allen became the best version of himself by taking less than one three pointer per game and focusing 95 percent of his energy on defense. When the playoffs roll around, teams will defend Smart like they defended Allen anyway, so he might as well start preparing now. Every coach will devise schemes to slow down Irving, Tatum, and Horford, leaving Smart wide open and daring him to shoot. While pride and ego always come into play when dealing with NBA players, the wisest move for Smart is probably to decline those dares and pass the ball to more offensively-skilled Celtics.

Taking the ball out of Tatum’s hands to lay bricks across every NBA city is not the move. Not to mention the fact that every wayward shot from Smart decreases the chances of winning, and every W matters for a Boston team fighting for home court advantage. Consider that Toronto, the closest team to Boston in the East standings, is 13-1 at home but just 11-9 on the road. If those two wind up as the second and third seeds, a second-round playoff matchup becomes increasingly likely. Making the Raptors play as many road games as possible would be in the best interest of everyone in Boston, as would allocating some of the Celtics’ shot attempts to players other than Smart.

San Antonio Spurs: never wear these jerseys


Just don’t do it.

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