What the hell was happening in "Turn My Swag On"?

Photo courtesy of Ben Rose/WireImage

Matthew Roberson | @mroberson22 

In the late 2000s, as the world became increasingly digitized and the internet dictated how we thought, learned, and behaved, one unstoppable cultural force was using it better than perhaps anyone ever before.

I am of course referring to Soulja Boy (or Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em if you’re not into the whole brevity thing), a man who taught an entire species how to crank that and whose Wikipedia page lists a feud with the U.S. Armed Forces under “Controversies”. This led to one of the greatest lines ever written in an apology statement:

“When I expressed my frustration with the US Army, not only did my words come out wrong, I was wrong to even speak them.” -Soulja Boy

The misunderstanding with the troops, which sprang up in 2011, would never have even happened if not for the events of a few years prior. With this monstrous 2007 hit “Crank That (Soulja Boy)”, which was supported greatly by its popularity on MySpace, Soulja Boy built an online platform unlike we’d ever seen from a rapper. The early social media success – plus the absurd amount of Soulja Boy tracks disguised as other songs through some tricky work on Limewire – made the Atlanta teen a critical part of the cultural zeitgeist. To be online in the late-2000s was to be acutely aware of Soulja Boy. And riding the high of “Crank That”, he came back with another sacred hymn in 2008 to further his fame.

Within the first 20 seconds of the “Turn My Swag On” video, Soulja Boy details an especially important daily ritual, shows off how famous he’s become, and blows his nose in some cash. It’s unclear though if the song is an all-encompassing road map to teach anyone and everyone how to turn their swag on, or just a recounting of the way he did it one particular morning.

The biggest question that arises is a basic one. How does one turn their swag on? What is the process? Whether this is a one-size-fits-all guide or a specific, doctor-ordered treatment for Soulja Boy exclusively, he was at least kind enough to outline his steps.

1. Hopped up out the bed

Yup, we’ve all been there. With you so far.

2. Took a look in the mirror

Sure, pretty standard.

 

3. Said “what’s up”

Okay, always good to acknowledge the self. Real Aristotle shit. I get it.

 

4. Yeah, I’m getting money

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down there, cowboy.

 

Photo courtesy of Rick Diamond/Getty Images for BET

How are you already getting money mere seconds after hopping out the bed? He goes on to say that he puts his team on (nice guy, real team player, that Soulja Boy), then his theme song. Is that referring to this song? As in, “Turn My Swag On”, the song he’s currently singing? Is it possible that the act of turning my swag on is just pressing play on “Turn My Swag On”? Has the answer always been this simple? Does the getting money immediately upon waking up just mean collecting the residuals from playing his own song? That would elevate his already savvy genius into another realm entirely. I need to lie down.

Regardless of where the money was coming from, Soulja Boy’s swag remains fully turnt. Still, the haters are furious. With a trajectory as upwardly linear as Soulja Boy’s, jealousy is bound to arise from every angle. He maintains that he “ain’t did nothing to ‘em but count this money”, which could have sowed the seeds of the American left embracing socialism. If that is the case, and the generation of young people in 2008 tearing Soulja Boy down were doing so with a Marxist agenda, we must give Soulja Boy some inadvertent credit. There is no AOC without Soulja Boy.

Most members of the socialist movement can pinpoint moments during their youth that radicalized them. Not Soulja Boy, though. He was currency-oriented since elementary school.

When I was 9 years old, I
Put it in my head
That ima die for this gold

Was Soulja Boy a prospector? Perhaps he’s a time traveler sent from the 1840s, explaining his excitement over America’s booming industries in the early 21^st century and the fact that he did not in fact die while mining the foothills. This fascination with the passage of time springs up again toward the end of the song. Please bow your head.

I'm back again,
I know a lot of y’all thought I
Wasn't coming back...
Yeeeeea, yeeeea

It had been one – count ‘em, one – year since “Crank That”. Yes, lots of people admittedly pegged Soulja Boy as a one-hit wonder as soon as they heard that tune. But he was 17 when he dropped “Crank That” on the world’s head. Surely he wasn’t just going to disappear, especially not with his swag turned off.

This sounds more like someone who snuck back in after getting kicked out of a Chili’s than it does a declarative statement from a child rapper. Coming “back” is generally reserved for someone overcoming some sort of hardship to make an unexpected return, but hey, his name is Soulja Boy, not Soulja Man. We can attribute some of his worldviews to the intoxication of youth.

Photo courtesy of Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

“Turn My Swag On” didn’t quite tear up the middle school dance floor like its predecessor, but its impact reached across multiple industries, age groups, and even languages. In addition to the millions of downloads and a performance at the BET Awards, the song also birthed a remix with Lil Wayne and other renditions from Young Jeezy, Jadakiss, Fabolous, Gucci Mane, and Keri Hilson.

MLB stars Ryan Howard, Andruw Jones, Hanley Ramirez, and others used it as their walkup music. Beyoncé worked the lyrics into her smash “Hold Up”. Someone even performed it on The X Factor. But the best possible way to measure a song’s true impact is to ask one basic question. Did someone make a German version of it?

In this case, fuck yes. Austrian king Money Boy blessed us with “Dreh den Swag auf” in the summer of 2010.

A dozen years after cryptically explaining the mechanics of swag, Soulja Boy’s chart-topping work of art continues to inspire, trailblaze, soundtrack, and yes, confuse, people of all ages across the world. Thank you, Soulja Boy.