The Wackiest, Weirdest, and Worst Lineups of the NBA Season

Basketball can be a complicated game. On any given possession, each player has to download a million scenarios, assignments, and responsibilities to ensure that they are doing their job correctly. Something as commonplace as a pick-and-roll requires each player to be on the same page, both offensively and defensively, in order for the play to have its desired effect.

While the in-the-weeds stuff can get a bit messy, one timeless, constant aspect of the game is finding five guys who play well together. If you don't have that, you got problems. Unlike baseball and football, where player responsibilities skew toward the individual, basketball is at its best when five bodies act with one mind. If you're Tom Thibodeau, you find a lineup that works and run it into the ground. If you're another, more practical coach, maybe you use garbage time or throwaway games to throw lineups against the wall and see what sticks. 

Those are the units I'm most interested in. Small sample size or not, there are several lineups around the league that intrigue for me a multitude of reasons. This will not be a place to find a list of the most efficient or highest scoring battalions in the NBA, you can find all of that here. Instead, this space will explore the weirdest, wackiest, and worst lineups from the 2017-18 year, regardless of how much they played together.

Photo courtesy of Brian Seltzer/Twitter

76ers: Ben Simmons, Timothe Luwawu-Cabarrot, Robert Covington, Dario Saric, Joel Embiid

While it hasn’t taken the league by storm like the Sixers’ starting five has, this lineup is certainly drawing attention from every corner of the globe. This group – Philadelphia’s sixth-most used – features five guys from five different countries. Simmons, the thunderbolt Australian point giant, headlines this lineup that outscored opponents by 31 points per 100 possessions. We haven’t seen this international iteration of the Sixers since Luwau-Cabarrot, a Frenchman, went down with a mid-March injury. That’s a real shame, considering it was the fourth-most efficient lineup of the entire season.

This lineup is dope from both a basketball-watching perspective, and a basketball-impact perspective. Having global representation is unquestionably one of the biggest goals for Adam Silver and his league. Having global representation on a young, energetic team that went from 10 wins to 52 in just two seasons is a godsend for the NBA.

Getting a glimpse of this lineup in the playoffs would be a boon for both the Sixers and children around the world hoping to see an actualized version of themselves on the game’s biggest stage.

Spurs: Tony Parker, Patty Mills, Manu Ginobili, Davis Bertans, LaMarcus Aldridge

Like the Sixers’ worldly fivesome from the previous section, this Spurs unit is also five dudes from five different homelands. The remarkable thing about this lineup is that it probably has no business playing together. The bizarre injury to Kawhi Leonard led Gregg Popovich to go even deeper into his savant mind in search for answers. This lineup, which essentially leaves 40-year-old Manu Ginobili checking the other team’s biggest wing scorer, feels like something 2k spits out when all the other small forwards are fatigued.

Granted, the ageless Ginobili might be an actual wizard that is incapable of being overwhelmed or embarrassed in any basketball situation. He is more than capable of holding his own against 6’8” racecars. Still, Popovich is more aware than anyone that this is not an optimal lineup.

They’ve been limited to just 14 minutes together across four games, but the Parker-Mills-Ginobili-Bertans-Aldridge platoon was 17.8 points better than its opponents per 100 possessions. Obviously, 14 minutes is a miniscule fraction of a season. The only thing we should glean from this is that nothing is more Spurs than throwing together a five-man squad from every corner of the earth, aged 25 to 40, and having it work.

Cavaliers: George Hill, Jordan Clarkson, Rodney Hood, LeBron James, Larry Nance Jr.

This is like when you have a group project and get put with a bunch of people you’ve never met before. Amazingly – and this has almost everything to do with LeBron’s greatness – this lineup has been unstoppable. Again, this is a case of small sample size, as the unit has logged just 26 minutes together.

Still, small sample size or not, it’s worth mentioning that the LeBron & The New Guys band has a +38.2 net rating. Also somewhat amazingly, this group has been Cleveland’s sixth-most used lineup since the All-Star break.

The most-used lineup in that time? Hill, J.R. Smith, James, Cedi Osman, and Tristan Thompson, which has been baaaad. The amount of playing time would seem to indicate that the Cavs’ brain trust believes that is their best lineup. Its -15.2 net rating would disagree.

Once more, that number comes from a small sample size of just five games. Then again, five games are more than it takes to lose a playoff series. As much as it defies conventional wisdom, Tyronn Lue should give some serious consideration to giving LeBron & The New Guys heavy minutes in the playoffs.

Suns: Devin Booker, T.J. Warren, Josh Jackson, Dragan Bender, Alex Len

Each and every member of this group has been a Phoenix lottery pick in the last five years.

None of them have appeared in a single playoff game.

Someone should probably tell the Suns that the point of tanking is to eventually get better.

Photo courtesy of @LonzoBrasil/Twitter

Lakers: Lonzo Ball, Kentavious Caldwell-Pope, Brandon Ingram, Kyle Kuzma, Julius Randle

In the days since Kobe, the Lakers have regularly rostered youthful teams with two main goals:

1.       Develop and evaluate young players for the future

2.       Stay somewhat competitive while still losing enough to secure a high draft pick

This lineup is certainly geared toward the realization of that first goal. Every member is 25 or younger. But, to both the chagrin and excitement of the Lakers front office, it has actually produced decent results on the court as well.

With Randle as the de facto rim protector and the length of Caldwell-Pope, Ingram, and Kuzma on the wings, this group is capable of stifling opponents’ offenses. In 98 minutes of action, these Laker babies have posted a 90.1 defensive rating. Among groups that have played in at least 20 games together, that ranks third in the league.

Everyone and their mother has speculated about an inevitable shakeup to LA’s roster this summer. Nobody can resist daydreaming about potential free agents and trade acquisitions. As much fun as that is, and as many grenades have been lobbed at KCP all season, let’s take some time to appreciate the unheralded defense of this group. Letting Caldwell-Pope walk in free agency, and upgrading at shooting guard, could result in improved offense while still maintaining most of this effective brigade.   

Hornets: Kemba Walker, Jeremy Lamb, Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, Marvin Williams, Frank Kaminsky

I will admit, this lineup only played three minutes together all season.

Three. As in, one more than two and one less than four. It’s more of a thought experiment than an actual basketball team.

That said, the reason I highlight this seemingly innocuous grouping, is to point out that all five of its constituents played in an NCAA Final Four. Only Kaminsky failed to win a championship. I’m not sure if there’s a way to look up other lineups that meet these criteria (if there is, I’m not aware of it), but I can’t imagine there are many others.

Trail Blazers: Damian Lillard, C.J. McCollum, Evan Turner, Al-Farouq Aminu, Zach Collins

Being a playoff team capable of playing five former top-ten picks together is a dream of every NBA general manager. With this assembly of players, Portland GM Neil Olshey can do just that. Similar to the Hornets’ lineup of collegiate stars, I’m not sure how many other teams can roll out a lineup exclusively comprised of top-ten picks. The Lakers can do it when they play Ball, KCP, Ingram, Randle and Brook Lopez together, but there can’t be many more.

Unfortunately, this ragtag outfit hasn’t quite played up to the level of its draft slots. This set of Blazers ran together in three games, accumulating 22 minutes together, and had a -14.7 net rating.  

Timberwolves: Jeff Teague, Jamal Crawford, Andrew Wiggins, Taj Gibson, Gorgui Dieng

On the surface, nothing seems that weird about this lineup. However, despite featuring a former All-Star point guard, a three-time Sixth Man of the Year, a former Rookie of the Year, a collegiate champion, and nine-year vet Taj Gibson, it's literally the worst lineup in the league to appear in at least 20 games together.

Almost more astounding than that is the fact Tom Thibodeau has gone to the lineup in 31 different games. If any of you see him use it in the playoffs, please call the police.

Clippers: Milos Teodosic, Sindarius Thornwell, Lou Williams, Sam Dekker, Montrezl Harrell

I love this lineup for so many reasons.

It is insanely eclectic. Three-fifths of it are people named Milos, Sindarius, and Montrezl, and then the other two are named Sam and Lou.

It has a slick-passing European point guard, a second-round pick, a man who just became the first in league history to lead his team in scoring as a bench player, one of the most frequent dunkers in the league, and Sam Dekker. Also, and this tells you everything there is to know about the 2017-18 Clippers, not a single one of them was on the team last season.

Photo courtesy of @TheWestbrookEra/Twitter

Rockets: Chris Paul, Eric Gordon, James Harden, Luc Mbah a Moute, P.J. Tucker

Welcome to the NBA in 2018, where P.J. Tucker can be your center and three guards can coexist at once. Houston’s version of Golden State’s death lineup stampeded everything in its path. Percentage-wise, Gordon is the worst three-point shooter in this gang, at 35.9 percent. It’s no surprise that a collection of shooters posted a mind-bending 145.5 offensive rating.

We only got 11 glimpses, and 26 total minutes, of this infantry highly trained in long distance marksmanship. Do not be surprised if it makes more appearances in the postseason.